just been thinking...

well, I was just editing a Princeton entrance essay for a friend of mine and in her essay she was talking about how Tennis taught her discipline in her life, not only on the court but off as well. And it made me think...

"wow. I lack discipline."

My reasoning for this is that really, all my life there wasn't much disciplined. Yeah, I came from asian parents, but I was like rarely ever spanked. Reason being, I saw my sister's mistakes, saw the consequences, and learned from them. Going to school there was no need for discipline when it came to me. I knew the limits, didn't test them. And that was that.

It was good back then, not getting into trouble and all, but now it's ramifications aren't so great. Let me tell you how. Ok, so now I'm in high school and all. Last year to be exact. I've come to develope this repuation over the years, so now I have quite a bit of leeway with teachers, well anyone with power over me that is, and I guess I've kinda taken advantage of that. I mean come on, wouldn't you? I would be stupid to pass that up. Naive too! It's society people, gotta do what you gotta do. But that's another topic I could go on about, but I won't tonight. Ok, so ANYWAY! because of this leeway and also the fact that my teachers don't do homework checks anymore, I've become sooooo slack. no discipline. I keep telling myself I can do better, be better, by actually doing something productive!!

Great literature reveal how the protagonist's fate isn't due to chance, but a flaw in his character that leads to a tragic serise of events. Othello's jealousy, Macbeth had his ruthless ambition, and of course, Hamlet's hesitation and self-doubt, became the root of their downfall. And knowing Shakespear, he bases everything on the human condition and human nature. So of course I feel, these plays, although exagerations, do reflect real life very accurately. Now, I'm not trying to give an English lesson. Hear me out now, you'll see where I'm getting at.

My flaw is this lack of discipline. It's already becoming my downfall now. My marks have slipped, I've dropped the ball on many extra currics, and I'm failing at something I love to do-art. And then it affects my self esteem on my abilities, and that holds me back so much. The fear that it creates. I feel a bit like J. Alfred Prufrock right about now. Another English allusion in my blog for ya! hahahahaha!

I know I have the power to do so much more, and I want to succeed. So, with it being so close the New Years. I thought I'd make it my resolution to discipline myself and move forward in life to the best of my ability. So that means no more slacking off or procrastinating. Through I am human, so give me the days when I do. Hahahaha. I'm gonna start slow. Slow and steady wins the race! That's what they always say to people with diet resolutions. The "start slow" thing that is. Not the tortise and the hare line.

Well, that's all folks! and have happy new year.

holy crap that's a lot of money

crrraaap. ok, so I'm bored, should be studying, but that's a diff story.

Anyway, to pass the time, I thought I'd add up my assets and spendings. So I added up all I spent from the moment I started working back in july. I didn't work a lot back then. I like worked 3 days in july, and then went off to vietnam, came back just worked about 10 days in auguest. and i didn't start working weekends until october. Ok, so through my pay stub it says I've made $1370.25. pretty good i have to say. Then I add up everything I spent and it adds up to $1088.21. Holy shit!! I only made a profit of $282.04!!! And I can just see myself spend that amount within the next few days of holiday shopping. Holy shit I need to make more money and spend less. Much less! Crap, I have bad spending habits. Majority is on food too!! Crap.

World on Fire

Something everyone should see, pass on, and keep in mind when you become the next rich CEO's, production managers, etc.



pass it on.

Birthday shoutout!

Happy Birthday to...

KitKat! (kaitlyn... not too sure if i spelt it right, that's why I just call her KitKat)
Kit Kat turned 18 on... on... oh, I don't know when, but her party was on the 9th! hahahaha. I know Kit Kat through daycamps at thornhill over the summer. It was a lot of fun and I met great people, she was one of them, hence the camp name Kit Kat. Kat's an amazing all around great person, I'm so glad I got to meet her and become friends with her. Happy 18th Kate! Don't drink too much now!

Dad! He turned 50 something, over 55 for sure, that's all i know. hahahaha. On Dec. 10, and I forgot. Opps. Good thing for sisters. She calls me, bossing me around to find her top, then asks,

"what did you get dad?"

and i'm like, "what? for like xmas?"

and she's like, "no, for his birthday"

"oh."

So then I just ran downstairs and shouted, "happy birthday daddy!" jazz hands and all. hahaha. and that was it.

A funny thing about my dad's bday is that his is 12/10 and mind is 10/12, my mom hit the mark with me for my bday cuz she doesn't have to buy an extra lottery ticket cuz me and my dad share the same numbers!!

And today, Happy Bday to Sonbol!! My good nightowl friend from school. Not too sure if she's 18 or 17 now, if she's 18 i should get someone to buy me drinks to give to sonbol for her bday. hahaha. Sonbol and me always seems to stay up in the weeeeee hours "working" on homework. really now eh? wink wink nudge nudge sonbol!! it's totally our bonding time the wee hours are. best wishes to you!

mother's wise words

My mom shared a pearl of wisdom with me today.

"You can't change men, so learn to change yourself(to adapt)"

This came to be because I was fixing a Christmas present for my cousin cuz it broke. So I glued it, and my dad asked me to glue the edge more for reinforcement. I was fine with that so I was like, "ok" and got the krazy glue out. when I do this, my dad keeps asking these questions and totally gets on my nerves! like it's cool that he's curious, but he's like obsessive over the littlest things!!! AND! he'll always do things behind my back! Like with this present! I leave for school he goes back and gets the krazy glue and adds a ton more to it and makes it looks like shit cuz there's glue all over it. Like wtf?! He doesn't know how to stop. It's the same with laundry. he can't accept my way of doing laundry, and will always go back when I leave to change something. My sister and I have deduced that he has obsessive compulsive disorder. He drives me nutso sometimes when he does these things! I had enough glue!!! nothing is good enough for him when it comes to the handyman jobs. So I eventually complain to my mom for him messing it up, and she tells me that quote I just put above, and that's her advice to me to deal with my father. I think it's unfair cuz he should make an effort to change and not me. I deal with enough. But you can't change this man. No matter how many times you tell him or how many facts you give him he'll still leave the car idling for 15 mintues before driving. 10 minutes if it's nice out. cuz he thinks it's good for the car. yeah right dad, yeah right. OCD I tell ya.

I hope I don't turn out like him and nit pick the stupidist things.